Anarchist BDSM Group

So this is really going to happen. Months of talk with some other kinky anarchist friends has finally resulted in finding a space and setting a date for the first meeting of an Anarchist BDSM group. I’ve even made a flyer, which I intend to distribute in all manner of anarchist and radical spaces. (See below.)

I’m excited, but also nervous. This is for a few reasons.

  1. I consider myself a total noob when it comes to the BDSM scene, and I’m afraid that people who are in that scene might take offense to my essentially saying that after my extremely limited interactions with the mainstream kink/leather scene, I feel the need to create something separate rather than use what they’ve spent decades building up. There’s certainly a part of me that feels I’m throwing it all out prematurely, judging it all as flawed and “not for me” before I’ve even given it a chance.
  2. On a similar note, being relatively new to BDSM also means that I don’t really have any techniques to share, which I think is a large component of what I’d want in a group like this. Obviously, the idea here is for multiple inexperienced people to teach themselves and learn from each others’ successes and failures — but I’m afraid that as the person kicking this off, the fact that I’m not able to immediately bring any new ideas or skills to the table will make the group short-lived unless there are other people who do have those skills ready to step up.
  3. I’m afraid that a group like this will be of interest to only a handful of people, most of whom I already know. I’m afraid that most anarchists who are into BDSM are fine with just playing on their own or using the resources of the existing scene, and that people won’t understand why a group like this needs to exist: “What difference does it make if you’re an anarchist or not? Your political opinions don’t have anything to do with the way you play.” My response, of course, is, “Yes, they do.” I wouldn’t want to sub to someone who held sexist ideas about the relative worth or “natural” tendencies of women; I wouldn’t want to sub to someone who thought that we were simply bringing out latent non-sexual power dynamics that already existed between us. I wouldn’t want to sub to someone who’s a cop. The political opinions of the people I play with affect how I view our d/s dynamic, because they make me wonder how much of that power dynamic is sexual fetish and how much is what they actually believe is an appropriate way for human beings to interact. It affects how deep I can go into subspace while still feeling safe. (Obviously, there’s a hell of a lot more to say about this, but this will have to do for now…)
  4. My fourth big fear is the fact that working to organize and promote this group is going to require me to be a lot more out about my sexuality — of course, it will mostly be to other kinky folk, which doesn’t seem so bad, but I still have some huge blocks around talking publicly about my sex life. Blogging about it, sure. But speaking about it? To a group of people? [Shudders.]

But hopefully, there really is a need for a group like this, and plenty of people will show up eager to participate, with lots of ideas and energy, and nobody will criticize me and I won’t feel nervous at all. Yes, that would be ideal.

Please spread the word to any radical kinky folk you know, and feel free to repost the flyer. Also, if anyone can come up with a clever name for the group…let me know. As my partner pointed out, it’s really too bad that “Bound Together” is already taken.

6 comments so far

  1. Amy on

    This is an amazing idea! I am so jealous, because due to the fact that I live on the OPPOSITE coast, I obviously can’t make it, but WOW! I’d be there in a second, and this is coming from someone that is really tired of the same of BDSM scenesters, and totally doesn’t fit in.

    I love the “No Experts” rule. As a sub queer woman, I am sick to death of straight white dom males that are “Experts” in whatever, telling me why I’m wrong to want A, and how wanting B is much more proper.

    Of all the places in the world to have an open minded subversive environment, I though for sure the kink community would be it, but instead I found the same old stereotypes, homophobia, and sexism, just dressed up in expensive leather.

    YOU ROCK!!!!

  2. cavewren on

    Are there that many of us Anarchist BDSM-ers? Maybe on the west coast. Bum deal we’re not.

    Anyhow, it seems like in most groups I find ten percent of the population I jive with and 90 percent I don’t. If I get along politically then religion is a hang up, or hard sciences verses liberal arts, or specific kinks, or strict roles (gender, D/s, T/b etc). I try to avoid my pet peeves and be flexible otherwise. (Not so hard when you’re a bi-switch. 😉 )

    Perhaps you can avoid the view that you are creating a competing group by associating or partnering with an existing club. It would be a complement rather than a whole new venture. We have a number of overlapping and mutually supporting groups in our neck of the woods that share resources even though the focus is different.

  3. Katie on

    Holy CRAP that is so exciting! I am jealous and excited for you and I think what you’re doing is radical and awesome.

  4. tomkat on

    Hell yes! this is awesome. I am sort of a newbie, though I have been to a bunch of play parties…though I have to say it is hard to respect a lot of bdsm people they are corporate types or homophobes. Kink.com makes serious money off these folks.
    I always wanted to do a play party on the bookfair weekend, but thought that people would take it the wrong way.
    I will be there. Representing bound together, or not.

  5. davey on

    That sounds awesome! I can’t come, cuz I’ll be out of town for holidays … Count me in for next time!

  6. stella on

    I just discovered this post today (long after the initial post apparently), and immediately forwarded it to several friends who would be interested.

    Please keep us informed of future events!


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